“屎”

“屎”
意思：从肛门出来的排泄物或眼睛、耳朵等器官里分泌出来的东西，“屎”也叫“粪”。In English, it's called 'SHIT'.
配词：拉屎，眼屎，耳屎，狗屎，猫屎，鸟屎，吃屎（用于骂人，例：“你去吃屎吧！”）,踩到“屎”,或用在惊叹辞如："屎！我忘记交作业。”
哪里找得到“屎”：一般的大街小巷、树底下、草丛旁（低等动物如猫、狗、鸟、鼠的屎）；马桶里（高等动物如人的，但是某些高等动物偏偏想做低等动物，aim都aim 不准。）
形状：有分粒状的，像朱古力，块的，像石头，水的，像粥，湖的，像chocolate fudge一样。
颜色：看你前天吃了什么东西，从黄色到黑色，深浅各异。
内容：你的sai里有什么东西，要看你前天吃了什么。从青菜到种子，什么都有。
“屎”的前奏：先放屁，还有要有那种"feeling"
屁：分响屁跟不响屁（想不到能用什么代替，所以用“不响屁”）。会响的，就像干打雷，不会下雨的，通常不臭，那种不响的，before you know it's a fart,you are already crying for oxygen mask.不响屁不能忍，不然会变得“不鸣则已，一鸣惊人”,the whole world know you farted before you can control it."
中" 屎：通常踩到屎的机率不高，除非人家aim不准或马桶太小，或是只第一次飞行而且没有尝试“高空轰炸”过的new bird，or you are really damn 'lucky' that day，工作场所中屎：司空见惯，习惯就好。
对付良策：Avoid all trees, look at the ground when you walk,wear a hat if you really need to walk across the 'bombing' grounds,工作的屎，难挡，担只要之前做足安全措施如添老板的鞋，和supervisors喝茶聊天，中“粪坑”的机会不大，最多是一脚粘着屎。Bring lots of tissue paper with you all the time.
善后事：中了屎，只能叹倒霉，拿tissue paper擦擦后，又是一条“好汉”No use crying father mother, or crying to your enemy,they already luff their butts off before you know it，worse come to worse, throw away your shoes.But after effects却挥之不去，the smell lingers on and on (or it's just your own psychological effect)成了你胸口中的一个痛。
从“屎”的启发：它将跟随你一辈子，just take the necessary precautionary measures ya？

造句

位
1.今天动物园来了一位老师。(Oh yea, 老师是稀有品种，是该关在笼子里保护保护。）
2.那位老人很老。(每个老人家都不是十七八岁的小姑娘了，没错，是很老了。）

大喊大叫
1.狮子在大喊大叫。(Wonder if you notice MGM movies, big background with a lion's head in a circle... , just imagine that the lion has taken some esctasy pills k......)
2.妹妹一听到要做功课，就大喊大叫。(Gee...that's one SUPER STRESSED-OUT kid.)
3.她在课室上大喊大叫。(妹妹is so stressed that she behaves like a monkey and climb up to the ceiling, with one hand grabbing onto the overhead projector and the other hand scratching her face and body.)

低声
1.我低声把东西拾起来。(wah, so we can just pick up objects by speaking softly one leh...)
2.他叫我低声说话，太大声他耳朵痛。(Tsk tsk tsk......time to see a ENT specialist?)

When "Sorry" Seems to be the Hardest Word

Just a little something to share with you......

As much as the one who harmed another needs to apologise,
the one who is harmed should not need an apology. -stonepeace

Standing in a bus on the way home, it was packed with school kids. When the bus jerked to stop, the boy in front took a step back, accidentally stomping on my foot. He half-turned his head to steal a glance at my reaction, in a somewhat guilty way. About to turn back his head, pretending nothing had happened, I said "Ouch!" - in a deliberate but hushed tone. He quickly uttered "Sorry." I thanked him with a little appreciative nod. I was pleasantly surprised by my response and his. From my side, there was no spite, and some humour instead. It wasn't that painful actually! A few years ago I might have tapped his shoulder impatiently to demand an apology. It felt only right to let him be aware that even the smallest of his actions matter, be it accidentally or intentionally causing physical or mental distress to others. It's also "good for his karma", in urging him to "make up" whatever he can before dismissing the incident as insignificant. A lesson out of the classroom for the kid! Do we not tend to trivialise others' pain while we exaggerate ours? Of course I can't really blame him - since it's an "accident". It's my fault too for not being mindful enough to move out of his way. Just my personal karma rebounding back - to be received with gladness, not anger. Likewise, all our unhappiness in life is not really caused by any person, but ourselves. Much of our unhappiness comes from not accepting we cause our unhappiness, while we further cause it with our negative attitude!Too often do we hesitate to say "Sorry" and "Thanks". Due to our thick pride, "Sorry" seems to be the harder word. It is only after you have tried your best to seek forgiveness from the one you are sorry to, can you truly forgive yourself. Otherwise, you are just letting yourself off the hook too easily! The greatness of one sometimes can be hinted by the littlest of things which he apologises for, in his unwilling inconveniencing of others - even to a child. Because this shows his great sensitivity and concern to the smallest of others' feelings. How apologetic are you for your misgivings lately? Repentance can often be easily practised in everyday life. Simply apologise instantly to one whose toes you just stepped on! This sure beats confessing your carelesness before your shrine at the end of the day! So what if the other party does not accept your sincere apology? It just means he chose to let your mistake torment him more. That is his own mistake now! May he be well and happy!